Reflections with Andy - Ecclesiastes 9 — Lean in to Relationships

The Teacher says to eat, drink, and be merry. But he really does hit upon a truth here. Our relationships really matter.

In Ecclesiastes 9, the Teacher points out that life is uncertain, death comes for everyone, and the things we often chase—success, power, recognition, possessions—cannot give lasting meaning. The Teacher’s repeated call to “eat, drink, and be merry” is understood not as a call to shallow living, but as an invitation to find meaning in community, shared meals, conversation, and time with the people we love. The heart of the message is that relationships, not achievements or possessions, are where lasting value is found, so we should intentionally prioritize the people who matter most to us.

Join us for our daily reflections with Andy. In 10 short minutes, he’ll dig a little deeper into Scripture and help you better understand God’s Word.

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Good morning. It’s good to be with you on this Tuesday morning. I hope your week is off to a good start, and I hope you had a good Memorial Day yesterday. Things are rocking and rolling. My office continues to be a disaster zone. One day—well, pretty soon—it will not be a disaster zone, but that day is not today.

Today we’re continuing in Ecclesiastes. We’re looking at Ecclesiastes chapter 9, and we’re going to read through verse 16 today. Verses 17 and 18 actually lend themselves into chapter 10 based on the poetic pattern that follows, so we’ll stop at verse 16.

Once again, we see the Teacher struggling with what he sees in the world. There’s the story of the little city that was besieged and then saved by a poor wise man, but no one remembered the poor man. The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise—but time and chance happen to them all. I think that’s an interesting thing to sit with: chance happens to all of us.

And so, once again, you see him wrestling with the uncertainty of life. He speaks of the certainty of death—madness is in their hearts while they live, and then they go to the dead. Death awaits all of us. He keeps trying to find meaning in the things of this world, which ultimately cannot produce meaning. Over and over again in Ecclesiastes, that’s what it comes down to: he’s trying to find meaning in something that cannot ultimately produce meaning.

And that, I think, is why he comes back to, “Eat, drink, and be merry.” Now, we can have a lot of criticism of that line, because it can sound frivolous. We can miss the things that matter if all we do is eat, drink, and be merry. But I do think there is something to be said for the notion behind it. When we are eating with the people we love, when we are drinking coffee and talking and visiting with those we love, we find some meaning there that we’re not going to find in other places. When we eat lunch with someone we care for, when we go to a party, a ball game, or a concert, when we go to church and are simply in community with one another—there is something meaningful there.

I think that’s why he keeps circling back to that concept. I do think he knows there is something beautiful in community. There’s something beautiful about being with people you love. There’s something beautiful about being with people who matter to you. And that’s what matters. The longer I live, the more I pastor, the more I love people, the more I walk with people, the more I truly understand that the relationships we have, the relationships we form, the relationships we live with—those are ultimately where meaning is found. Meaning is found in shared laughter and shared stories. Meaning is found in relationship.

So I don’t want to tritely say, “Eat, drink, and be merry,” because that can sound dismissive. But I would say this: spend time with those you love. Prioritize meals with those you love. Prioritize coffee meetings and conversations with those you love. Prioritize spending time with your spouse and your children. Prioritize the relationships in your life that are life-giving to you. Prioritize relationships with your colleagues, with your fellow church members, and, if you’re a pastor, with your fellow clergy.

Because we do spend time chasing vanity. We spend time chasing money and power and influence and all manner of stuff like that, and we find that those things are nothing but vanity. So maybe “eating, drinking, and being merry” is not, perhaps, the best motto for living our lives—but community is a good start. I would say prioritizing our relationships is a good start. Because death takes all our stuff. None of it will stand over your graveside when you’re gone. But your spouse will. Your children will. Your friends will. Your colleagues will. Those relationships will.

So as we think about life, and what matters, and our place in the world, and our priorities in the world, and what God has for us to do in the world, I do believe there are far worse things we could do than prioritize relationships. I do believe there are far worse things we can do than prioritize the people we love. I do believe there are far worse things we can do than making sure we are spending time with the people we love—the people that define us, the people that shape us.

So today, don’t isolate yourself. Don’t spend all your time alone. Text the people who mean the most to you. Tell them you love them. Tell them what they mean to you. Speak to them. Write a note. Make a phone call. Whatever it is, prioritize those relationships. And I promise you that when we do that, kind of like what the Teacher says, we will likely find something worthwhile.

So today, relationships matter, friends. That’s what matters. I hope we can lean into those relationships. Have a great rest of your day. See you tomorrow. Thanks.