What does Jesus mean when he tells us, “Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’”? In Matthew 5:33–37, Jesus challenges the practice of using religious oaths and technicalities to avoid telling the truth. This reflection explores how we sometimes turn rules and systems—whether in our families, workplaces, churches, or government—into tools for protecting our own interests rather than serving others. Drawing on the everyday challenge of communication in marriage and even the occasional misuse of Robert’s Rules of Order, we consider Jesus’ call to honesty, integrity, and a life in which our words can be trusted.
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Good morning, and happy Friday!
We made it to the end of another week, and the weekend is here. I hope you have some good plans ahead.
If you’re coming to Starkville tomorrow for the Auburn game, we’d love for you to stay the night and join us Sunday morning at Starkville First United Methodist Church. We’ve got a big day planned, and there are some really good things happening in our church right now. We’re even having some conversations about baptism coming up soon. So if you’re going to be in town for the game or just spending the weekend in Starkville, come worship with us Sunday morning. We’d love to have you.
Today we’re continuing our little series looking at some of the more interesting and sometimes challenging passages in Scripture. We’re asking what we can learn from these passages and what truths we might find in places that leave us wondering, “What exactly is going on here?”
Today’s passage isn’t necessarily difficult to understand, but it does make you stop and ask what Jesus is getting at. We’re looking at Matthew 5:33–37, where Jesus talks about making oaths.
This comes from the Sermon on the Mount, which is foundational for how we understand Christian life and discipleship. Jesus says:
“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.”
In other words, Jesus says, don’t swear oaths. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
That’s actually a principle I use quite a bit in ministry, particularly when I’m working with couples who are struggling in their marriage or having difficulty communicating.
We’ve all been there. We’re in a place where things just aren’t going well. We’re not communicating clearly. We say something, and our spouse hears something completely different from what we intended. We may be trying to explain one thing, but what the other person hears is something else entirely.
One thing I encourage couples to do is stop and say, “Just so we’re on the same page, when you said that, what I heard you say was this. Is that what you meant?”
Nine times out of ten, the other person will say, “No, that’s not what I meant. What I was trying to say was this.”
There’s a gap between what someone says and what someone else hears. And a lot of miscommunication happens in that gap. Our experiences, our assumptions, and the things we’ve been through shape how we hear what another person says.
So sometimes the best thing we can do is slow down, repeat back what we heard, and make sure we’re understanding one another.
The other thing I encourage couples to do is something Jesus says right here: Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
Speak simply. Listen carefully. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. When communication gets complicated, sometimes we need to get back to the bare essentials. Don’t bury everything under a pile of extra words. Be clear. Be honest. Take what the other person says seriously.
Now, this passage isn’t explicitly about marriage communication, but I do think that principle gets at something important in what Jesus is teaching.
The question I’ve sometimes wondered about is this: Does Jesus mean we should never take an oath? Can we testify in court? Can we swear an oath when we join the military? Can we sign an affidavit or have something notarized? What about saying, “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”?
No, I don’t think Jesus is saying that every formal oath or public promise is automatically wrong. We need to understand what he’s addressing in the context of the passage.
One of the things Jesus is challenging here is the way religious leaders had developed loopholes around the law. They had taken something intended to encourage faithful obedience to God and turned it into a system that could be manipulated.
Think about Robert’s Rules of Order. These rules are designed to help meetings function properly. They provide an orderly way for people to discuss issues, make motions, and reach decisions. But if you’ve ever been in a meeting with someone who really knows Robert’s Rules, you know those same rules can sometimes be used to tie everybody in knots.
You can slow things down, stop something from happening, or prevent a decision from moving forward. Something designed to make a meeting work better can actually become a tool for keeping it from working at all.
That’s something like what had happened with the law in the hands of some of the religious leaders. Instead of allowing the law to guide people toward faithfulness, they had found ways to manipulate it to get what they wanted.
It becomes a kind of malicious compliance. “I’m just following the rules. Don’t be mad at me. I’m doing exactly what the law says.”
And the same thing could happen with oaths. People could make distinctions about whether they had sworn by the temple, by heaven, by Jerusalem, or by something else. They could use those distinctions to argue that one promise was binding while another wasn’t.
In other words, they could use religious language and technicalities to defend dishonesty.
And that’s what Jesus is getting at. Don’t use the law as a way to get around the truth. Don’t use religious systems as a way to protect yourself while taking advantage of someone else. Don’t use God’s name or God’s authority to get what you want.
Just be honest. Have integrity. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
I sometimes tell people that if you’re going to say something, say it with your whole chest. Put all ten toes down. Mean what you say, and say what you mean.
We can use all kinds of systems and structures as a way to avoid being honest. We can do it in our families, in our workplaces, in our churches, and even in government. We can take something that was designed to help people and turn it into a tool for protecting our own power or getting our own way.
Jesus says that’s not how it should be.
And I think there’s a connection here to the commandment not to take the Lord’s name in vain. We often think of that commandment as being about the words we use when we speak God’s name. But there’s another important dimension to it: We should never use God’s name, God’s holiness, or God’s goodness for our own selfish purposes.
God is far too holy for us to use God as a tool to get what we want.
So don’t use religion, don’t use rules, don’t use parliamentary procedure, and don’t use systems as weapons against other people. Don’t look for loopholes that allow you to get your way while avoiding the truth.
Just be honest.
There’s an old saying that the truth is always easier to remember. And there’s something to that. When we tell the truth, we don’t have to keep track of all the different versions of the story or remember which loophole we used.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. And live with honesty and integrity.
That’s ultimately what Jesus is asking of us here. He’s calling us to be people whose words can be trusted—not because we’ve found the right technicality or made the right oath, but because we’ve become people of truth.
Have a great rest of your day. And again, if you’re in Starkville this weekend for the Auburn game, come see us at First Church on Sunday morning.
I’ll see you Monday. Thanks!